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pardonmewhileipanic:

BLESS THIS FUCKING CHILD OMG

08.25.14 ♥ 475952

gnarly:

when your teacher asks u why ur late to class

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08.25.14 ♥ 9212
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lynzave:

today these kids were talking and being really rude during a test so I finally fulfilled my dream of telling them off by yelling “I AM FAILING THIS CLASS AND YOU DILDOS AREN’T HELPING MY SITUATION, LET ME TAKE MY TEST” and it went dead silent for like two seconds and one person snickered and the teacher said “don’t you dare laugh, she’s absolutely right”

I’ve never had a school official back me up after calling someone a dildo.

08.25.14 ♥ 219711

tyleroakley:

the ultimate insult

08.25.14 ♥ 79098
08.25.14 ♥ 151023

seabelle:

I can’t stand these fucking people with these fucking family window stickers on their cars a murderer is gonna come into your fucking house and you’re gonna try to hide your kids in the fucking closet and he’s gonna be like naw bitch I saw your fucking mini van I know you have six more kids where are they

08.25.14 ♥ 63456

neobedouins:

zerrie:

2013 vma will always be the best vma

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08.25.14 ♥ 53728

soufflesandbowties:

50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”

08.25.14 ♥ 260830

cybercitrus:

pixelavender:

adriofthedead:

vicemag:

A quick tip for your elevator ride up to the office: grab a piping hot cuppa joe at the corner store and stick an egg in it to make a hard boiled morning snack.

just stick your hands in boiling hot coffee. go on. do it. just shove your fingers on in that blistering hot cuppa joe. throw an egg in there. who gives a shit. eat your god damn coffee eggs like the stupid slobbering idiot that you are

thIS WHOLE FUCKING ARTICLE

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convert your office into a horrible disaster

08.25.14 ♥ 250291